


Empathy

by Lexilindale35



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:36:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8228605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexilindale35/pseuds/Lexilindale35
Summary: The one where Nesta can feels Cassian's pain and she learns she is far more powerful than any other reborn Faes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> SO this monster of a piece came from the little tiny thought "Nesta needs Cassian and pulls him from a meeting."
> 
> Not sure how I feel about it. I like the initial idea, but it kind of got away from me.   
> Hopefully it's good and you all like it.
> 
> Loved to hear your thoughts =)

Cassian wasn't in bed when I woke up. I vaguely remembered him telling me about an early meeting with Azriel and Rhys and a few other important people. I could barely focus when he told me in the evening before. He usually did it between kisses, my mind on other pressing matters. Still a need flashed through me. It was hot and heavy, throbbing against the bond I had accepted years ago. I sent a message to him through our bond.

It hadn't felt this raw since that first day we were together. Since I offered him dinner and we had accepted each other. But today it felt brand new. It felt tight and pulled me out of the warm sheets and into the cool air of our bedroom. I needed my mate. The intensity of it all scared me. 

I got dressed quickly, noticing the sun wasn't even that high in the sky yet. I walked quickly towards the meeting room, my bare feet silent against the stone. Cassian hated when I walked around without shoes on, but I didn’t have time to find a pair. I needed to see him, I needed to know that he was okay.

I opened the door and all conversation stopped as all their heads turned to look at me. I blushed, as my eyes went around the table. They filled with tears, why I wasn’t sure. I felt instant relief when I found him. Cassian stood up as I let out a sigh. His chair scraped loudly against the floor.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly as the other two high lords shifted in their seats. Surely they couldn't see what I actually needed, could they? Now that I found him my body was aching to get closer, to feel him.

I couldn’t help but smile as I walked forward, towards my mate. The bond demanded that I touch him, that I be near him. It was like I could feel something was about to happen and I needed to keep him safe. It wasn’t the same panic I felt when he got himself hurt. It was different, more concentrated.

"I just need to borrow him," I smiled sweetly at his brothers and then glanced at the other officials, "just for a moment. If that's okay."

Rhys raised his eyebrows with a smirk on his face, "its fine Nesta. I think we were close to done anyways."

I grabbed Cassian's hand as he followed me out of the room. He was worried, I could feel it in my bones, the bond shouting at me to tell him what was wrong. Once he had shut the door behind us Cassian pulled me to a stop.

"Nesta tell me what's wrong."

I took a step forward, pulling him close, "nothing is wrong. I just woke up and needed you," I whispered softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pressed my lips to his, my body shivering under his touch. Gods I needed this, I needed him.

"Nesta," he moaned my name as I ran my fingers down his wings. I giggled before he scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to our room. Thank the gods it was far from the meeting room. Although I was sure their Fae ears could still hear us.

He didn't sit me down once he closed the door. He pinned me up against the wall, "you will be the death of me," he mumbled against my lips, his hands sliding down my curves.

I giggled again, “oh, but what a way to go."

His knee slipped between my legs, knocking them open as his hand traveled back up my body. I gasped as I felt his hand brush against me. Desire flashed through both of us. Our bond was alive and humming as our bodies pressed together.

"Cassian," this time I moaned his name as my hips rolled against his hands. I didn’t think about the words that tumbled out of my throat, "please don't leave me."

He went completely still. His hand stopped moving and my eyes opened to find him staring at me. He wasn't sure what to say, the bond pulsed with his confusion. I could hear his mind working, questioning how I had known Rhys asked him to lead men down to the mountain? He hadn't told me about the mission yet.

He looked at me with wide eyes, "did Feyre tell you?"

I shook my head, "I just have this feeling. Like I'm going to need you," I held on tighter to him. The bond begging me to keep him here, "like you're getting ready to go off to war again."

"Nesta," his voice caught in his throat, "it is my job."

I pressed my hand against his mouth, "I woke up knowing something. Knowing I needed you here with me. Please don't go," tears gathered in my eyes as I begged for the first time in my life, "stay with me."

I felt it nestled in my soul, knowing I needed him here not wherever Rhysand asked him to go. But I wasn't sure why or how. It was the same as when our bond pulsed with want and need, but this time it was bigger. This time it was a primal instinct that told me to keep him here. It was embedded in my very core, the need for him to stay beside me.

Cassian sighed, his mate begging him was a sight I knew he couldn't handle. He knew he couldn't refuse Rhysand's order. But he also couldn't refuse me, not when I was crying, begging him to be safe. He let out a slow breath, his hand trailing down my hips.

"I will see what I can do," he whispered softly, pressing a kiss against my forehead.

We both knew it was an empty promise. Cassian would go off to wherever Rhysand asked him to. Because he loved his job, he was made for war. He was the commander and he wouldn't let them walk onto any battlefield without him. But I didn't say anything, I just looked into his eyes, memorizing every detail about my mate.

"I love you," I whispered fearing the words weren't enough. Fearing I would never get to say them to him again.

He kissed my neck, his lips finding that spot below my ear. My breath caught as he pulled the skin with his teeth, "I love you too, Nesta."

I smiled, despite the fear pooling in my stomach. I pulled his lips back to mine and finished what we had started, my mate taking me against the wall.

\---

Cassian ran his hand through Nesta's hair, trying not to wake her. It was well past midnight and he knew she was exhausted. She spent the better half of the day crying and the other half sick. He wasn't sure what was wrong with her, but it killed him to know he had to leave her. Something in his gut burned hot as he prepared to go off on this mission.

He wasn't sure if it was the bond telling him to be careful. Or that other thread, the other pull that was becoming louder whenever they were apart.

"Cassian," she reached for him in her sleep, her tiny hands pulling at his arms. He fought off his own emotions as he looked down at her.

"I'll be home as soon as I can be," he whispered softly, pressing another kiss to her temple, "I love you, sweetheart."

Nesta's eyes fluttered open, "come back to me," her voice was small. The years they had spent together had softened some of her hard edges, "please don't die."

He laughed, "I will always come back to you."

He brushed her hair away from her face as he felt her nausea come back. She squeezed his hand and closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose. He wrote a note to Feyre, asking her to find a healer to tend to his mate as soon as she woke up tomorrow.

Azriel met him on their balcony, "it's time," he said watching Cassian stare at his mate for a moment longer.

"I love you," he whispered one last time before he kissed her softly, her breathing evened out. She had fallen back asleep and he pulled the blankets up around her. 

He followed his brother out into the nights sky, wondering if he would survive two weeks without his mate. Or if he would go crazy worrying about her newfound fragile state.

\---

"Nesta sit still," Feyre kept staring at me as if I had grown two heads. I told her that I wasn’t sick. 

But Feyre said she got Cassian's note and panicked. She came to our apartment as soon as she could and brought the best healer with her. I looked at her angrier than I had before. First because Cassian had left without waking me, and second because I felt fine and didn't need this gods damned healer.

"I don't need a healer," I sighed. It was half a whine, "I don't know what was wrong yesterday. But I am fine now."

I winced as the healer pressed her hand against my back. We both listened to her hum under her breath as if she found that odd. 

Feyre sighed, "well I've never seen Cassian as worried as he was yesterday. He tried everything to get Rhysand to let him stay. So I'm doing this for him, Nesta. Not you."

I rolled my eyes. They were all being dramatic. Whatever emotional state I had been in was over. While I still missed Cassian, I knew he had to go. Whatever had been bugging me yesterday seemed to have passed. Because I wasn't that person. I didn't need him, I could live without him. 

Yesterday had just been an off day. I got emotional knowing he would be gone for two weeks, maybe longer. I got emotional imagining him walking into another battle where his fragile wings could be damaged once again.

I hated when my mate was gone. I hated falling asleep on my own. 

But something had pulled inside my soul yesterday, begging me to make him stay. I suppressed a scream as the healers hand swiped down my shoulder blades. My body felt like it was on fire. Her hand was as cold as ice.

"I'm going to give you a tonic for pain. Your back seems tender, I'm not sure why. But everything else looks normal. You're still taking your tonic yes?"

Feyre waited for me to answer the healer. I felt myself blush, even though me and Cassian had been together forever now. I nodded slowly, "yes. I'm still taking my tonic."

Feyre sighed with relief as we watched the healer put together a tonic for pain.  She put her hand on my shoulder, "you should sleep. You look exhausted.”

"I can't sleep. I can't sleep whenever Cass is away," I whispered softly, "how do you do it Fey? How do you know he'll come back?"

My sister picked up my hand and squeezed it gently, "because he always does. Because I feel him even now, promising me he will come back. That's what the bond is for Nesta."

Just as she said it relief flooded through my stomach. Cassian was checking up on me, my heart beat slowed and my body suddenly relaxed. My shoulders weren’t as tense, but a few pains lingered in my back. Still I smiled as I heard him begging me to tell him I was all right.

_I'm fine._ I answered through the bond. His own relief flooded through me once more. _I love you._

I took the tonic from the healer, the leftover pains in my back relaxed instantly. I saw the healer nod slightly at my sister, which I knew meant there was a sleeping aid in the tonic. But I didn't care, I wanted the help relaxing. Because there was still something tugging at my muscles. Something foreign and painful. I burrowed down into our bed, closing my eyes and praying I could just sleep until my mate returned.

\--

The dream was always the same. I watched as Cassian lost his wings, watched as he fell from the sky into a pool of his own blood. I had had the nightmare so many times now it barely startled me when it started. But I always woke up in a cold sweat. I always woke up panting and wishing for his arms. I shivered against the mattress without him.

But this time it wasn't Cassian who lost his wings. 

This time it was me.

I fell from the sky, my massive wings shredding on the way down. I woke up with a scream still caught in my throat. The sunlight poured in through the window, my hands were shaking. I searched for his calming scent, but I couldn't find it. My entire body started to panic without him. I stood up slowly, my back ached. It was a mess of tender knots.

I stopped short of the mirror, catching a glimpse of my bare back. I must have pulled my nightgown off in the middle of the night. I took a breath in through my nose. My back was a mess. It was red and angry. There were two slices down the sides, as if someone had whipped me. When I stepped closer, I saw they weren't slices, they were more like bumps.

"Oh my gods," I whispered. My hand flew up to cover my mouth. Tears instantly filled my eyes.

"Feyre!" I screamed my sister’s name. I didn't even care what time it was. I just needed someone else to tell me that I was crazy.

The bedroom door flew open, "Nesta what in the gods," Feyre stopped. Her hair was a mess from sleep. But her eyes went wide as she took in my red and angry back, "Nesta."

"I think," I swallowed slowly as my sister walked closer, "something is very, very wrong."

Feyre nodded. I wondered if my sister was calling her mate through their bond. I needed Cassian, he would know what to do. I called to him, pulling on our own thread as I kept herself standing upright. My legs shook from pain and confusion. My hands were shaking as we stood there dumbstruck.

"You should sit back down," Feyre whispered after a moment, "I'll find a healer and then maybe the boys will be home."

I nodded slowly, too unsure of what else to do. I laid down on my stomach, the sheets cool against my hot body. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I called for my mate again. He didn’t answer, their bond felt tighter. I felt like my body was on fire. I couldn't feel Cassian as Feyre came back into the room and held picked up my hand. I knew my sister was calling her own mate now, begging him to answer.

The air in the room was tense. I tried to push off my pain, but there seemed to be no end to it. The bond inside my soul stirred, another ache I couldn't rid myself of. The dull ache that followed me whenever my mate was gone. I knew Cassian could heal this.

He could heal everything for me with just one touch. Hell he could heal me with a single look.

I squeezed my sister's hand hard. Feyre went still. She was pale as death as she gripped my hand back. I whimpered as my back ached, something sharp piercing my shoulder. Tears gathered in my eyes and I sobbed into the pillow. I couldn’t stop the tears, both from pain and from the fact that Cassian wasn’t answering. Suddenly Feyre gasped.

"They took him," she whispered softly, "Cassian isn't with the boys."

My entire body stilled, "what? Feyre please tell me you're lying. Please."

She shook her head slowly, "no. Cassian stumbled away from the camp and they can't find him. I'm sorry Nesta."

I cried out loudly as the fire burned me again. I gripped Feyre's hand harder, not even caring if I hurt her in the process, "please make it stop."

"Let me find Mor," she whispered softly, pushing my sweat soaked hair out of my face. It only made me whine more, "maybe she can help okay?"

I nodded, biting my lip harder. My mate was gone. I knew something terrible was going to happen. I had begged him to stay home, because I knew something like this was going to happen. My tears got bigger as I laid there missing Cassian and feeling terrible pain course through me.

Mor came into the room and took one look at my back and gasped. Her hands were cold and felt amazing against the harsh wounds that had appeared. She looked at Feyre and then sighed. She pressed her hand against my forehead, pulling it back when she was burned.

"You said they took Cassian?" Feyre nodded at Mor's question, "I don't believe it. I mean. It's been years."

Feyre looked at Mor, "what is it? Why is she being hurt?"

Mor's face went pale and she gasped at the two women, "you're an empath," she whispered so only our fae ears could hear, "you and Cassian. It's been centuries since any mates have found a bond like yours."

I shook my head, "we mated years ago Mor. Why didn't we feel it then? Why did it take so long for anything like this to happen. Make it stop. Please."

I sobbed loudly as Feyre tried to take some of my pain, "what can do we? How can I make it stop Mor? She's in pain. She's bleeding."

"Poison," I whispered softly, the air deflating my lungs, "he's been poisoned."

Mor grabbed the herbs the healer had left behind. She shook her head, "until Cassian heals Nesta won't. She feels it all, so he doesn't have to bear it alone. She cares so deeply, their bond wrapped around both their souls, that she will face everything he does. As he will she, if the roles are ever reversed. It is a gift only few mates receive. The mates who are truly two halves of a whole. All we can do it make her comfortable."

A tear slipped down my cheek as Feyre leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my forehead. I was still burning up.

"Feyre," my throat hurt. I knew now that it was because Cassian was screaming, "tell them to hurry. He isn't going to make it. Please."

Feyre nodded, no doubt shouting down the bond at her mate to haul his ass into whatever cave or mountain Cassian was being held in. I closed my eyes, the slices on my back throbbed. They were fresher, someone was hurting my mate and I could feel every lash, every scare they were creating. Another scream ripped through me as visions of once shredded wings filled my head.

I was seeing his memories, seeing his fears. I felt everything and he knew I was there with him. He pushed against our bond, trying to close me off. He didn’t want me to feel or see whatever was happening to him. But whatever it was, this empath thing, it was stronger than both of us. Because I refused to let him handle this pain without me.

Mor’s cool hand ran down my back once more. I tried to stave off the pain, to press reassuring love into his soul through the bond. But I couldn't focus on anything other than the white hot pain hitting my shoulder blades. Another lash hit my skin and I screamed out loud this time.

His wings. They were going after his precious wings.

I gasped, "gods they need to find him. Whatever they're doing to him. His wings," my heart pulled, "his poor wings. It's killing him."

The bond pulsed and I spilled a line of curses. I screamed as another welt formed on my back, tears fresh in my eyes. Cassian was crying, his mind flashing between me and his poor wings. He would give them up if it meant I would stop feeling his pain. I needed my mate, I needed the pain to stop. He was fading, and I was fading with him.

_Stay with me._ I whispered through our bond. F _ight them. I will find you._

Cassian grunted through our bond in response.

"He's going to pass out," I whispered too weak to use my voice, "Feyre tell Rhysand. Tell him -"

I didn't finish my sentence. The poison in his blood took him over and suddenly I passed out. The last thing I heard was Feyre begging me to tell her what I needed to tell her mate. The last thing I felt was Feyre’s tears on my cheek.

\---

My head was fuzzy, but cold water hit my face and woke me up. I spit out air, my lungs felt like they couldn’t work. I was drowning. I cried out, thrashing against the pain in my small body. I could feel my mate in pain and needing me. Begging whoever was holding him to just let me go.

Feyre was there when I opened my eyes, "breathe. It's not you under water. Breathe Nesta."

My arms hurt from invisible chains. My body was soaked in sweat and I thought it was also soaked in blood. I knew that wasn't mine though, not entirely. Most of my wounds were bleeding, but Cassian was worse off. The blood that soaked him was far worse than the blood on my back.

After a few precious minutes of nothing, Cassian stopped fighting me. Then I could see through his eyes. The room was dark, a single flame burned by the entrance. There was a large shadow watching Cassian, waiting for him to come back to reality. He hung up by his wings, every movement struck deep in their membranes. He was crying, even in his unconscious state.

I whimpered as I opened my eyes, desperate to get away from the terrible sight of my mate hanging there in pain.

"He's in the mountain," I choked out, my throat raw and burning, "get him out."

Feyre nodded. She stood up and suddenly Elain took her place beside me. I wasn’t even sure when my other sister had arrived. I had been in and out of consciousness all day. She picked up my hand and held it lightly, pressing a sweet cold kiss against my clammy skin.

“When did you?” I didn’t finish the sentence. Elain smiled at me, the flowers in her hair made the pain seem unimportant.

She giggled, “a few hours ago. You were sleeping and Feyre told me what’s happening. She asked me to stay with you,” she squeezed my fingers hard, my body starting to shake from pain.

“You came all this way. To watch me sleep,” tears pricked the corner of my eyes. Elain smiled, her hand brushing away my hair. I knew she didn’t care about the distance from here to the Spring Court. She came because we needed her. Because I needed her.

"Nesta, stay with me," her voice was like music. My little sister always so calm. I fought, my fire burning brightly as I strained to stay with my sisters. Feyre was no doubt trying to communicate with Rhysand, debating between winnowing to him or staying with me. 

"Go help him," I breathed, the poison spreading slower than before. Mor was making more tonics for me to drink, "please. Save him. For me."

Feyre nodded and winnowed out of the room. I struggled up, my arms shaking as Mor handed me another tonic. I let out a slow breath as I took a sip and then my blue eyes found Mor’s. She watched me quietly, she looked at me in awe. As if I was the queen and she was nothing more than a Fae.

"What does this mean?" My voice was small.

Mor took in a deep breath, "being an empath means you can influence moods, alter decisions. Feeling Cassian will always be second nature. You'll be able to feel him better than the others. But it is only the beginning. We can teach you how to feel others. How to change their own feelings by using yours. We can train you to use this gift to your advantage. It is your choice of course."

Mor tried to keep her features straight as she explained how I was important. Why this gift was one we needed to keep among themselves. Elain was quiet, listening and watching me. She held my hand, trying to reassure me that everything would be okay.

"If I can help my family," I whispered as Mor reached over and touched my back with a bit of salve, "and my mate, I'll learn whatever you want me to."

Mor smiled slightly, "I knew your fire burned bright. And I knew Cassian would end up being the luckiest bastard of us all."

I swallowed some more of her tonic, "then take me to Cassian. Take me to my mate if my gift is what they want. I'll do whatever I have to do to save him, please."

Mor shook her head, her heart broke for me. I could see it in her eyes, "you don't have control. And whoever took him knows. That's why he's using your mate to hurt you. So you'll come try and save him. So they can try and capture you too. Trust the boys, they'll save him. They always do."

My eyes filled with tears. Mor understood my pain, it was hard to be taken away from your mate. Even harder for us because of our new bond. 

I bit my lip against the pain, "he's hurting so much Mor. I can't, I can't handle both our pain."

"I know," the queen whispered softly as she touched my shoulder, "I'm sorry I can't do more to help."

The room fell quiet as I drank more of the medicine. I tried to fight off the noises of Cassian screams, tried to fight off the pain that hit my shoulder blade every time he was sliced open with a blade. I took another drink, wishing for the sleeping aid to work. 

After a moment passed another question found me. One I wasn't sure I could handle the answer to. Still I found my voice.

"If he dies, does that mean I will too?" my voice was shaking as I waited for an answer.

Mor but her lip, sucking it in between her front teeth. She seemed lost in thought before she finally sighed, "I'm not sure. I've never, actually witnessed an empath. They are rare in our world. Even rarer to happen between bonded mates. I know when your mates dies, a part of you do too. I can only infer from watching you for the last twenty four hours that you would not survive if Cassian were to die."

She paused as I felt my heart slow down. Cassian was losing too much blood. His magic wasn't healing him fast enough. My hand flew to my chest, begging him to just hold on a little longer.

“It would break your spirit and your soul. You would follow your mate into the afterworld if only to have another moment together."

I nodded slowly fighting off tears. I already knew it would break me to lose the first and only man who ever truly mattered to me, "well then we have to make sure he doesn't die."

Mor smiled, "that's exactly what we're going to do."

I closed my eyes and passed out before Mor could give me anymore tonics.

\---

I had no idea how long I was out for this time. Time seemed to mean nothing, since I spent most of the last week stuck in this bed. When I woke up the sky was dark and Elain was gone. But I didn't feel pain, no instead there was a soreness deep down inside my bones. My back still hurt, but the poison was gone. I lifted my head, feeling the heat of a body beside mine.

Cassian.

I gasped, spinning around to face him. My eyes took him in, my heart clenching. He looked like he was one in piece, his bruised face the only sign of what he had endured. That and his very mangled wings. My hands shook as my entire body flooded with relief and gratitude. He was here, back in our bed. He was safe and he was home. 

I reached up to cup his cheek, his nose twitched against my touch. Slowly, so painfully slow I could've cried, he opened his eyes. He cleared his throat and gave me that smile. Her favorite smile, "hello love."

I couldn’t hold it in another second, I cried, wrapping my arms around him. I didn't care about my pain. I just needed to feel him against me, "gods Cassian. I told you not to go. What happened?"

He shook his head, "they used me to get to you. They knew," he winced as he pulled back, "they knew what you were. What we are."

A tear slipped down my cheek, "how? We didn't even know."

He shook his head, "the only reason I am still alive is because you held onto that bond. You refused to give into their pain, the torture I've seen grown men break under. You saved my life, wildfire."

I smiled at the nickname he had given me the first time I ever let my fire glow in my eyes. He pressed a kiss to my brow, "we are one. You and me, two halves of a whole."

I nodded, nestling into him despite the pain and fear that had coursed through me for the last two weeks, "I am yours Cassian. I love you."

He pushed my hair out of my face. It felt nice to lay on my back, "and I promised I would always find my way home to you. This is me, keeping my promise."

I held his face in both my hands, "are you hurt? Do you need a healer? How did you get back here?"

He smiled, shaking his head slowly, "breathe sweetheart. I'm fine, the moment we got back here I just needed to see you. They brought me here, you were already passed out. But as soon as I pulled you into my arms we both started to heal. I kissed your bruises and they vanished. Everyone watched, so that was interesting."

I tried to fight off more tears, "I didn't feel you. I was waiting for you."

"I know. But I didn't want to wake you. Because I felt your body ease the tension out of it as I held you. You fell asleep, a real good sleep right before I did. So I didn't want to wake you."

I nodded slowly. I ran my finger down his cheek, "I missed you. So much."

He offered me his crooked smile before he pressed his lips to mine, both of us careful to avoid our injuries. I held him close, not caring about a war that would no doubt be started over this. I was one of the rarest forms of fae, a weapon in itself so it seemed. Every enemy would seek me out, so I could be used as a pawn, as a plaything.

But Cassian held me tightly, our bond tight in his chest. He promised me he would never let that happen. Not as long as he was alive and breathing. He sealed that promise inside our kiss, his hands holding tightly to my hips. He had promised me the day we mated nothing would ever tear us apart. He promised to protect me with his life.

He made that promise once more, in the silence between us. I pulled away, and then melted into him as he tucked me into his chest.

"Sleep love. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere for a while."

\---

Rhysand woke us both up. He threw the door open and it slammed against the wall. Cassian jumped first, ignoring the pain in his body so that he could shield me. I was still half asleep so I let him pull me into his back. I glanced over his shoulder and saw Rhysand's angry eyes.

"I don't know what the hell you were thinking Cassian," his voice boomed across the room, "but you put everyone in danger when you left our camp. When you willingly followed Hybern into that gods damned mountain."

Cassian sighed, "I know. And I told you I was sorry. But I wasn't going to let them get away with it. I wouldn't let another person take you to be her slave, Rhys. I was protecting you," his eyes slide to me, "and I was protecting my mate."

I clung to his arm as he slipped it around my waist. He knew. I felt it in my body as he looked back at our high lord. My eyes went wide, "you knew? What I am, or what I can do? You've known before any of this happened?"

He nodded slowly, "I've known you were an empath, that our bond is more solid than others ever since that day in the woods when you hit me with a wall of fire. You felt it, I soothed your burns before you realized it. I knew you were more powerful than the others. The morning before I left last week, solidified my belief. Because I didn't tell you about the mission for a reason. But you picked up on my apprehension, my worry for you."

He paused, his big hand encasing mine, "when you told me not to go, to stay here, I felt something even bigger than our bond turn to steel inside my soul. Because you were using a power I had never felt before. That's when I knew I had to protect you. It's this feeling ingrained in my bones, both these bonds intensify it. Because if he could get his claws into you, I'd never get you back. He would make what Armantha did to Rhysand look like child's play if he ever found you."

Tears filled my eyes. Everyone feared another reign like the one that kept Feyre's mate locked under the mountain. Cassian most of all, because he now had more people he cared about. I buried my face in his chest, realizing he was willing to give himself up in order to keep us all safe. To keep me safe.

But who was willing to give themselves up for him?

"Why did you go?" Rhysand's voice was low.

Cassian's eyes filled with tears as he held me against his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair, "he told me he would find her. That he knew what she was and he would do everything to make sure he broke her. And once he did he would take me, make me listen to her scream. Just imagining that was painful. So I went with him into the mountain."

Rhysand's eyes flashed to Feyre. He knew what it felt like to need to protect your mate, "what did he want? Why is he coming out of hiding now? Years after the war ended?"

"He wanted to know about my wings, how the healers stitched them back together. Then he wanted to know about Elain and Nesta. He wants to know what the cauldron gave them. When I wouldn't answer he used, other methods. He smelled our bond, so he knew he would get me to talk by torturing me. He doesn't know how powerful she is. That we have the most valuable asset on our side if another war is coming our way."

I blushed, not sure why me being able to feel Cassian's pain and have it manifest in my body was so important to them. I thought back to Mor, and I realized I was more important than I ever realized. Everyone else seemed to accept that before I did. They all looked at us like we were royalty now.

"I would've given him my wings if it meant he stopped torturing Nesta. I could feel every beat of her heart just as I'm sure she felt mine. I could handle his torture, but I couldn't handle hers. I tried to shield myself, but somehow she got through."

I leaned back to look up at his face, "I needed you. When Feyre said they took you, I needed to know you were safe. That's why I kept pushing through. Because I wanted to know you were still alive."

He leaned down and kissed me softly, "I know, sweetheart. And I fought everything he did to me so I could get home to you," he looked at his brother, "but I understood what happened with Armantha. In that moment when I had to decide the fate of this life, our people, I would've sacrificed myself in order to keep our court and everyone I love safe."

He wiped away my tears as our high lord and lady watched us. Rhysand wasn't angry anymore. He looked at his wife, watching the couple slowly heal together. Feyre felt better now that I wasn't in pain anymore. It was crazy how fast I had healed the moment Cassian walked through that door.

"Nesta," Rhysand sighed, "how do you feel?"

"Better," I leaned into my mate, my exhausted bones and soul were settling. I felt stronger than I had in days, "I'm always better when Cassian is around."

Rhysand smiled, "then we should begin your training. Because you can learn to use this to your advantage. You are your own most powerful weapon, Nesta Acheron."

I forced a smile, "well I've always known that."

Cassian laughed. "I'll start training her tomorrow Rhys," he said quietly, "today I plan on helping her in other ways."

I couldn’t help but giggle as everyone left the room in a hurry. Cassian pulled me towards him by my calf and kissed me harder than before. I was certain our bond flared and burned, embers of a newfound pool of magic flooding inside of our souls. We were one, our bodies and souls forever ingrained in each other.

"I love you," I murmured against his lips, "with every spark inside my soul."

He smiled against me, "I love you too," he whispered softly, "and I will always come home to you."

He ran his hand down my side and kissed me hard. There was no room for air, no room for anything to come between us. After a dizzy moment Cassian pulled away, the biggest smile on his face, "nine hundred years and I'm the lucky bastard who gets to claim you. As my soul, my mate. But also my empath. I can't believe it."

I giggled underneath him, moving my hips up to meet his, "remind me to ask you why I'm so important once you've shown me how lucky you are."

Cassian's eyes flashed with desire and love as he moved over me. My arms wrapped around his neck, my mind still a whirl of confusion. But it all fell silent as Cassian touched me. His hands healed the aches that had formed while he was gone. I knew war was coming, after what had happened to both of us, it was only a matter of time.

But this time I would be ready. This time I would stand beside my mate and fight. This time I was their secret weapon. And I would do whatever I had to do to defend my court. To protect my family.


End file.
